An autumn afternoon maybe:
She has no clue why she feels exactly the same way she used to feel when she felt. Not a thing about it has changed at all. Why would she have this emotional attack every now and then? No, she is not blaming him or anything as such, not even her own self. But she really wants to know why it is how it is right now. It is indeed suffocating something inside her. Is it felt across with the same intensity as well? She needs to know because it can't just happen to her alone, she believes strongly about it. There has to be something mutual. It can't be nothing in vain. She saw an angular picture with a professional camera focusing on something, or someone maybe. She could feel those hands. She could feel the gentle strikes of those fingers. She could feel that touch. She could feel that feeling. Why wouldn't it fade away into oblivion? There is pure negligence and intentional indifference, or maybe natural. Yet that feeling doesn't just die. What would she do? How is she supposed to react? It's so exhausting, this whole feeling. Yet it won't go away. She desperately needs to know for once and for all what she is experiencing now and why. Is it one-sided, this experience? It better not be. How does she tell him how she feels what she feels? How?
Just another winter morning:
She doesn't really know what to write or how to write. She can't even explain it to her own self. No, she doesn't love or want him in any possible way in her life. Then why would she think of it again? What is it that is bothering her so much of late? Why is she having this weird feeling that sounds a lot like loving or missing but in reality it's none like it? Again she is putting herself in the questioning mode the answers to which will never be received. Her biggest concern is: why her? Why would that thought keep crossing her mind? And it's written all over her by now. Sounds so ridiculous but true. It's almost like a burning desire yet has no name that she could possibly think of to attach it with. Is she really being thought? This whole experience is becoming an enigma. Maybe it's a phase. In that case, she needs to get rid of it as quickly as possible.
"I lose my senses around you."
"I love the way you call my name."
"You know nothing about it, none of it."
"I've seen your covered self. I've seen your bare self."
She hears these words so clearly ringing in her head right now. But what's the purpose of all this? What's happening?
She has no clue why she feels exactly the same way she used to feel when she felt. Not a thing about it has changed at all. Why would she have this emotional attack every now and then? No, she is not blaming him or anything as such, not even her own self. But she really wants to know why it is how it is right now. It is indeed suffocating something inside her. Is it felt across with the same intensity as well? She needs to know because it can't just happen to her alone, she believes strongly about it. There has to be something mutual. It can't be nothing in vain. She saw an angular picture with a professional camera focusing on something, or someone maybe. She could feel those hands. She could feel the gentle strikes of those fingers. She could feel that touch. She could feel that feeling. Why wouldn't it fade away into oblivion? There is pure negligence and intentional indifference, or maybe natural. Yet that feeling doesn't just die. What would she do? How is she supposed to react? It's so exhausting, this whole feeling. Yet it won't go away. She desperately needs to know for once and for all what she is experiencing now and why. Is it one-sided, this experience? It better not be. How does she tell him how she feels what she feels? How?
Just another winter morning:
She doesn't really know what to write or how to write. She can't even explain it to her own self. No, she doesn't love or want him in any possible way in her life. Then why would she think of it again? What is it that is bothering her so much of late? Why is she having this weird feeling that sounds a lot like loving or missing but in reality it's none like it? Again she is putting herself in the questioning mode the answers to which will never be received. Her biggest concern is: why her? Why would that thought keep crossing her mind? And it's written all over her by now. Sounds so ridiculous but true. It's almost like a burning desire yet has no name that she could possibly think of to attach it with. Is she really being thought? This whole experience is becoming an enigma. Maybe it's a phase. In that case, she needs to get rid of it as quickly as possible.
"I lose my senses around you."
"I love the way you call my name."
"You know nothing about it, none of it."
"I've seen your covered self. I've seen your bare self."
She hears these words so clearly ringing in her head right now. But what's the purpose of all this? What's happening?
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