It's difficult to ignore absence at times. Or even indifference. You seem familiar until one fine evening, and the twilight brings you to the strange feeling of weirdness. "Do you even know any of it? Did you ever?" you tend to question at the blankness only to be echoed with the same words. It's the same time of the day, but with a different shade of colors unknown to you. Many a times, it felt as if I had already been introduced to this weirdness of a feeling. Of course, by different faces and minds. Then another set of questions traffics your mind: "What could possibly have gone wrong? Or is it right this way? Then why can't I feel so?"
I definitely can't get the answers from the curious minds sitting in front of me right now, drowning in their question booklets. But I don't want to lose hope. So I am expecting some sort of responses from the emptiness in between them. The spaces are being sympathetic towards my helplessness. But I don't want to buy that. There is a big 'why' gawking at me almost shamelessly, mocking fun of my whole being. That's quite rude. But I guess I would go with rude than sympathetic.
What on earth could the lost soul possibly have taken to transpire this weird emptiness. I am never meant for such emptiness, I never was. Not for any reason of my reasonings. Or was there any reason at all for all of it? But it's interesting to see how words change colors and times - from familiar to stranger, engaging to disengage, tie to untie, settling to unsettle. I can go on and on with the chain of indifference and weirdness. Sometimes, unrelated words make so much sense confirming the mind of so many unsettled bonds. Maybe there was no bond at all. Maybe we have always been strangers.
So, now I have to begin to unknow the known. I guess I would do that with the sincerity of words that I am writing these emotions in. As it happens always, there was no beginning, so will be none for the end. The empty spaces in between the curious minds in this silent exam hall want to sing in chorus, "Be a pebble and go with the flow; or turn into a river and dance with your currents." Deep in my heart, I know I am going to settle for the latter.
I definitely can't get the answers from the curious minds sitting in front of me right now, drowning in their question booklets. But I don't want to lose hope. So I am expecting some sort of responses from the emptiness in between them. The spaces are being sympathetic towards my helplessness. But I don't want to buy that. There is a big 'why' gawking at me almost shamelessly, mocking fun of my whole being. That's quite rude. But I guess I would go with rude than sympathetic.
What on earth could the lost soul possibly have taken to transpire this weird emptiness. I am never meant for such emptiness, I never was. Not for any reason of my reasonings. Or was there any reason at all for all of it? But it's interesting to see how words change colors and times - from familiar to stranger, engaging to disengage, tie to untie, settling to unsettle. I can go on and on with the chain of indifference and weirdness. Sometimes, unrelated words make so much sense confirming the mind of so many unsettled bonds. Maybe there was no bond at all. Maybe we have always been strangers.
So, now I have to begin to unknow the known. I guess I would do that with the sincerity of words that I am writing these emotions in. As it happens always, there was no beginning, so will be none for the end. The empty spaces in between the curious minds in this silent exam hall want to sing in chorus, "Be a pebble and go with the flow; or turn into a river and dance with your currents." Deep in my heart, I know I am going to settle for the latter.
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